And Ask For a Raise

I’m not a job-placement professional, but in today’s current job market, I’d probably advise people to look for work in the childcare industry.* They could certainly use good people. Then again, if that’s your only option you might choose to stay unemployed. I would.

That is in no way meant to disparage those that do work in the industry. Quite the opposite. That is meant to point out that I do not have the qualifications or the stomach for that kind of work. Much the same way that I don’t have the stomach to be an ER doctor, NFL lineman, or a member of the armed services.

Deciding to look after infants and toddlers all day long, multiple days a week, particularly ones that aren’t yours, is truly noble. Looking after ones that are yours is nothing to sneeze at either. I only do it because, monetarily speaking, I’m required to by law. Since this is the case, I plan to stick around and hold over their heads how much money they owe me as soon as they can grasp that concept. Also, my wife would have me hunted down and killed if I left.

Having the same number of kids as parents in a household, also known as “playing man-to-man,” is largely thought to be a manageable situation. This is a myth. How daycares get their employees to agree to individually take care of up to five kids, which is the case at my son’s daycare, is beyond me. Every day that I pick him up, I expect to see at least one teacher weeping in the corner. It hasn’t happened yet, despite seeing situations that would cause me to weep in the corner if I was in charge.

One aspect that probably makes it a little more tolerable is that the people who work at my son’s daycare receive free daycare for their own children. This certainly makes the job a little more inviting because daycare is expensive. Why is it expensive, you ask? For the same reason ice road truckers command such a high salary – the work is perilous and few people are willing to do it.

I looked it up, and somehow, “daycare employee” does not rank high on the list of professions that cause the most number of suicides.** It falls well below social worker, homicide detective and Tyra Banks’ publicist.

This doesn’t mean the industry couldn’t use more good people. So think about it if you’re looking for work or like to help your fellow man. Not that I’m recommending it. I’m just saying.

*Unless you’re the Octo-Mom, in which case you should have to experience the phenomenon of a real-life Lost scenario.

**I did not look it up. Hey, this isn’t The New York Times.