He Likes It in There

The other day my friend Brad gave me some unsolicited advice on child rearing, which was this: as a means to keep my son from wreaking havoc when we’re in public, we should tie him to a leash. I told him I was not comfortable putting a leash on my 11-month-old child because of the freedoms it would provide. That’s why my wife and I like to keep him in a type of rolling cage.

Actually, the cage itself doesn’t roll. We have a more crude design in which he’s placed inside a small, but ample-sized crate that sits atop a wagon, which we pull through stores/restaurants/the doctor’s office, etc… Sure we get a lot of disgusted looks, as well as some rude comments about our mental well being, but it’s like I told my friend – we’re raising a child, not running for office.

Besides, some people just need to feel like they’re better than you, and if our caged offspring gives them that sense of superiority, then so be it. We’re more than capable of dealing with the outlandish comments, like “You will permanently warp his social skills” and “You’re treating him like an animal,” by pointing out to the accuser that their pants make them look fat or their teeth look like piano keys.

But whatever your view is on the matter, let’s all try to keep a little perspective. It’s not like we’re going to send him to public school or something.

And in case you thought I was joking...