As a follow up to my recent weather report, this weekend is looking a lot different than last weekend, which, depending on who you are, may be a bad thing or a good thing. You see, a sunny, 70 degree day is a sunny, 70 degree day. It pretty much means the same thing to everyone. How you’re impacted by a foot of snow, however, is all relative.
For instance, if you live in Wisconsin, a foot of snow is called “a light dusting.” Whereas if you live in Alabama, a foot of snow is referred to as “the apocalypse.”
In my southeastern/mid-western state, a foot of snow, which is what we woke up to this morning, is a lot, but it’s not the most we’ve ever seen. Even so, it means my hometown will virtually shut down for days, especially since it fell over the weekend. Rookie newscasters will report from the popular sledding locations. Normally law-abiding citizens will stab each other in the neck for the last loaf of bread and the last gallon of expired milk on the grocery shelves. And when asked why snow plows haven’t been out, state officials will respond by saying, “Are you kidding? Have you seen the roads?”
A foot of snow also has different meanings depending on your age. When you’re a kid, it means school is closed and you’ll engage in massive snowball wars, ensuring that it goes down as the greatest day in the history of mankind. When you’re an adult, it means the office is open, your kid’s daycare is closed, you still have to give that presentation at 9 a.m. and, if you’re me, it means your left rear tire is flat for the second time in three weeks (the first instance occurring the last time it snowed).
If you’re a lifeguard, a foot of snow probably means you have the day off. If you work in road construction, it probably means you have the month off.
If you’re a dog, a foot of snow means you just won the lottery. If you’re a cat, it means… well, it means the same thing it did the day before: humans are idiots.
Anyway, you see my point. If you’re under a foot of snow, here’s hoping that it means something good for you. If you’re not, how about you shovel my driveway?
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