Ringing In Some Self Improvement

Hope everyone had a safe and happy New Year’s celebration.

New Year’s Eve is one of those few occasions when nearly every sector of the worldwide population has a reason to party. Saying goodbye to the current year and gleefully sharing in the optimism that is a “fresh start,” even though the next year will likely bring more of the same crap, gives everyone an excuse to go nuts until the wee hours of the morning.

However, if you live with a two year old, and you and your wife – who is eight months pregnant – are still awake at 11 p.m. on New Year’s Eve, you’re probably saying to yourself, “Man it’s getting late.”

And if you are like me, the only reason you’re still up at 11 p.m. is because you’re trying to get the two year old back to sleep. Otherwise you would have been resting comfortably in your bed at 7:30 p.m.

It was during this time that my mind drifted away from vengeful thoughts toward my crying child and instead began to think about New Year’s resolutions. I thought that for 2009 maybe I should resolve to be a better husband or be a better father or to work harder at my job or to help my fellow man in need whenever possible. But for me, those are highly unrealistic goals and the New Year’s experts (who disseminate their vast knowledge in checkout counter magazines nationwide) always say not to make resolutions that are too lofty or unattainable. So then I thought I’ll stick with my original plan to wear socks with fewer holes in them.

I was content to go with this until I caught a few minutes of Deal or No Deal yesterday that made me feel like my resolution is a little lame and self serving. During a break from the regular brain-teasing action, the women who open the suitcases were talking about their resolutions and one of them – Cinnamon or Jasmine or Fibula; can’t remember – said she hopes to be able to surf more. At that moment I’m sure everyone who was watching thought the exact same thing, “The world is lucky to have you, Fibula.”

So now I feel obligated to try something more challenging and meaningful. Leave it to a show hosted by Howie Mandel to cause me to reflect on my life and push me to better myself. My hat’s off to you, Howie. So stay tuned for my revised resolutions. Right now I’m thinking of something along the lines of relieving my butler from polishing my car so that he can have some time off. Besides, the nanny can do it.