A few jokes for today...
As part of a sudden change in plans for reviving the economy, President Obama announced today that the U.S. is officially filing for divorce from Mel Gibson.
Many Pittsburgh baseball fans were excited to hear about this story until they realized the outcome would not be affecting their team’s Major League roster.
When a story leads off with this sentence, “A polar bear attacked a woman at a Berlin Zoo Friday afternoon after she climbed a fence and jumped into its habitat during feeding time, police said Saturday,” (brace for the picture) it’s a good indication that prices at the zoo’s concession stands have gotten out of hand.
There was an article on cnn.com yesterday about the "laws of attraction" between men and women. It's time for all these scientists and “love experts” to stop wasting their time studying why certain people are attracted to each other, and just admit that how attracted a woman is to a man depends on the success of his band, and how attracted a man is to a woman depends on whether or not she ever had a penis.
Good night! Enjoy the veal, tip your waitress.
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