I’ve written a lot about my kids lately, particularly my five-year-old son. I try not to do that too much because I don’t want this to morph into a “mommy blog,” especially since I’m a dad. But I can’t help it this time because I’m jealous of something. My son has something I want. As a parent, I shouldn’t pine for something that one of my kids has, particularly when he’s this young and virtually everything he has is dictated by what I or my wife give him. But this is different. Nobody gave him the thing I want, he just has it.
It’s his energy level.
And I’m not the only one who wants it. You want it too. We all do. That’s why, as I wrote a few years ago, energy drinks are so popular. That’s why Starbucks charges $4 for a small cup of coffee. That’s why we get addicted to soda and mayors feel the need to outlaw the sale of soda containers that could double as lawn mower attachments. That’s why meth fans are willing to forgo their teeth in exchange for it.
But none of that can match the potency of simply being five. He doesn’t need sugar, caffeine, naps or meth in order to go full throttle for 14 hours. The only way to get my son to sit still and be quiet for more than three minutes is to play that game where you see who can be quiet the longest. Luckily his competitiveness is the one thing that exceeds his energy level. Most kids, however, couldn’t care less about exceeding at that game because the sacrifice (being quiet) isn’t worth it.
To be fair, there are quiet times that don’t involve him trying to win a contest. But the energy is always there, bubbling under the surface, just waiting for the right time to erupt. The other night he sat quietly through dinner, ate his entire meal and then, like a perfect gentleman, very politely said, “I’m finished. May I please be excused?” My wife granted his request and then he slid out of his chair and immediately started playing air guitar. Put on a show right there at the kitchen table. Bon Jovi’s “Living on a Prayer,” I think.
Other times when he’s not bouncing off the walls are the few seconds it takes to move his peg around the Trouble board. However, during the few seconds it takes me to move my peg, he usually sways back and forth, shakes his arms in the air and sings only half of the lyrics to a song correctly. Lately it’s been “Living on a Prayer.” We all went through a Bon Jovi phase. Don’t judge.
If I did the same thing, I would never get through the game. I would absolutely pass out from exhaustion a quarter of the way through. For my son, though, conserving his energy while it’s my turn never crosses his mind because he’s not in his mid-thirties and he doesn’t need energy reserves to play a board game. He doesn’t need energy reserves to do anything.
And for all the things that are wasted on kids (food that hits the floor, clothes that are stained after one wear, education), energy is never one of them. The excess energy that isn’t used while eating or pushing the Trouble button is simply exerted later on top of other energy that's already being exerted. For instance, running up and down the soccer field doesn’t adequately squelch all the energy, so a lot of times you’ll see kids running up and down the soccer field AND playing air guitar at the same time. You’ll rarely see professional athletes do this because they’re limited by their age and pathetically low endurance levels. But you’ll see kids do it.
What my son doesn’t understand is that the energy will run out. Not today, but years down the road. I’m not sure if holding onto some of the energy will ensure that he can summon it again 30 years from now, but one thing I do know – all the Starbucks in the world won’t bring it back.
