Friday, August 23, 2013

A Recently Fired TV Writer Gets a Job Writing Episode Descriptions for Your DVR

Razor’s Edge
Repeat (May 2013), “Inside Man.” Jarrod’s motivation for buying his former partner’s failing business is revealed. Witty dialogue and captivating plot twists highlight this week’s tightly-woven tale. Viewers will be on the edge of their seats. (Drama)

Razor’s Edge
New (September 2013), “Change Is In The Air.” Jarrod and Melissa go to counseling. Off screen shakeups over the summer are reflected in the season premiere’s plodding attempt at entertainment. As expected, the storytelling takes a complete nose dive. (Drama)
Razor’s Edge
New (October 2013), “Derailed.” Some old acquaintances return to haunt Jarrod and Melissa, while Yvonne is taken hostage. That was my idea, a**holes! What do you mean "a**holes" won’t be spelled out on the screen? (Drama)
Razor’s Edge
New (October 2013), “Mayday.” Jarrod runs around like his balls are in his wife’s purse. No, I’m not f***ing changing it! That’s an accurate description of the episode! Viewers will likely give up on the show as this once-riveting hour of television becomes virtually unrecognizable. (Drama)
Two Times the Fun
New (October 2013), “Whatever You Say, Boss.” Joe and Bob switch jobs for the day so each can see what the other has to deal with. Are you kidding me? This formulaic concept has been done in every way possible since the advent of television. How does crap like this still get on the air? (Comedy)
A Broil Affair
New (November 2013), “I Feel Like Chicken Tonight.” Featured dish: chicken. Let’s film people cooking. That takes some imagination. (Food)
Topsy Turvey Treehouse
New (November 2013), “Aftermath.” Thomas fakely feuds with Steven while the rest of the fake group fakely figures out who should be the next person fakely voted out of the fake treehouse. Meanwhile, fake Lena fakely cries over fake Chris fakely cheating on her with fake Tonya. FAKE. (Reality)
Caged Desires
New (December 2013), “Love For Sale.” Simone, much like the actress who plays her, continues to benefit from the affair with her boss by receiving a long-awaited promotion. In the biggest cliché move in the industry, the show totally pusses out by making Ricardo’s car accident nothing more than a dream sequence. Oops. Spoiler! (Soap)
Late Show with David Letterman
Repeat (December 2013), Dave’s guests include: Foo Fighters, Marv Albert and the lovely Susan Sarandon. (Comedy-Talk)

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