Motivation: It Only Costs an Arm and a Leg

This time of year, people are always searching for motivation to finally accomplish what they haven’t been able to during any of the decades prior. If you or someone you know is in need of some extra motivation, I recommend cutting off a limb. Two if you really want to achieve something.

Show me a person with three or fewer limbs, and I’ll show you someone who can drive better than you, dance better than you, swim farther, bowl more strikes and probably even beat you in a race. How do people without limbs get motivated to be more physically active than the rest of us? I don’t know, but they do.

How often have you seen a double amputee perform a remarkable athletic feat alongside numerous other amputees, all on a competitive stage, and then looked into the stands to see a two-armed fat guy knock his drink over while lowering a hotdog from his mouth? Maybe having both arms means always having one in the way.

Most of us who aren’t physically limited by anything other than our laziness are by and large crippled by that very thing. If we only use our brains to 10% of their capacity, how far are we from getting our bodies to perform at their maximum potential? My guess is: far.

Other things that people with fewer than all their bones can do better than you include:

• Play the piano
  
• Knit
• Ski
• Box
• Wrestle
• Jump rope
  
• Climb mountains
  
• Pull ups
  
• Push ups
  
• Sit ups
  
• Get erections (none of the dudes needing wiener pills are missing arms or legs in those commercials)

Sometimes climbing up a mountain and skiing back down it aren’t enough, though. After losing limbs in military combat, instead of retiring to a peaceful existence of reading US Weekly and watching The Housewives of Miami, things they have more than earned the right to do, some brave men and women ask to be REDEPLOYED. Quite a few, actually. Have you and your four perfectly good limbs even ENLISTED? Hell no! You’re using one hand to scroll down the page and the other to shovel gluten-covered trans fat down your gullet.

Don’t get me wrong, I applaud you for it. But clearly you need some motivation. Hopefully seeing these folks in action is inspiring enough, but if not – you can always borrow a table saw.