Congratubeerplease

As many of you know, this past weekend marked the first weekend of spring and Easter Sunday, a time when many kids spend the day outside hunting for eggs. So naturally the temperature never got above 45 degrees.

Extended weather like this usually produces a lot of cabin fever, but maybe lately you’ve decided you would rather not take out a loan to buy the gas needed to reach your favorite get-a-way spot. Or if you’re like my wife and I, maybe you have a small child, which makes traveling anywhere that’s more than 100 miles away about as practical as performing your own vasectomy.

If either or both of those are the case for you, here’s something you can try to fit into your schedule that will liven up any weekend: Catholic wedding! Or even better: Catholic reception!

I’ve had the pleasure of attending both of these numerous times, and as is usually the case, there’s a buzz in the air as people leave the church. Is it due to the momentous, uplifting occasion everyone just witnessed? The beautiful joining of two people into a union that will change their lives forever?

Sure.

That, and the open bar.

If there’s word that the reception will have an open bar, some people actually get excited at the prospect of sitting through a full mass/ceremony. I believe ceremonies themselves would be more exciting if the reception occurred before the wedding, but I haven’t seen many of them organized this way. (As a side note: you know how when characters on TV get married, the wedding is always wrapped up in 10 minutes? If a Catholic wedding were accurately depicted on TV, it would run longer than a season of 'American Idol.')

The more weddings I attend, the more I appreciate how important an open bar is to the guests (i.e. my relatives). At the most recent one that I attended, within minutes of everyone arriving at the reception, a SUBSTANTIAL line had formed at the drink counter. Slowly but surely, the line whittled down to about five or six people. That’s when someone made an announcement for everyone to find their seats as the wedding party was about to arrive. Despite hearing that they could soon return to their same spots in line, the looks on the faces of those still waiting for a drink ranged from disappointment to blinding rage.

Seeing this, I couldn’t help but try to come up with some reasons why an open bar is so coveted at wedding receptions. Perhaps free drinks are perceived “needs” after attending a religious service that likely occurred on a day other than Sunday. Maybe it’s due to the length of the service itself. Or maybe it’s a combination of the two.

On the other hand, it could be a way for couples to say: “Thank you for coming to our wedding. To show our appreciation, we encourage you to drink lots of alcohol in the vicinity of a microphone, a dance floor, and our grandparents. We don’t see how, in any way, this could go bad.”

I also wondered if brides and grooms fear that without an open bar, no one would show up. Realistically, though, this is probably true of just 20 or 30 people on most guest lists.

Anyway, before I decided on an answer, the caterers came around and poured the guests champagne. This was so that we could toast the happy couple and squelch a possible mutiny. The toast was made and then more champagne was poured. Then another toast was made and again came more champagne. This went on until roughly two dozen toasts were made. I didn’t notice if people reclaimed their places in line at the bar, but that wasn’t really necessary (or possible) for those who took part in every toast. At any rate, everyone was having a good time, and by 5 p.m. nobody cared any more that they had to first attend a church service that started some time the day before.

So if you can’t afford to drive to work anymore, let alone the beach, get on someone’s invite list. Then pass along your congratulations, share in the merriment, and drink responsibly. Just keep in mind, if you’re at a Catholic wedding reception and you’re the only one who continues to raise their hand when asked, “Who needs a refill,” call it a night.