I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!
Frosty the Snowman
“The blizzard in the northeast has wreaked havoc on holiday air travel. Dozens of flights into and out of the airport have been cancelled, stranding thousands of travelers. Many people have been forced to spend the night at the airport while waiting to see when or even if their flights will be rescheduled. For more, we go to Tom Claysmith, reporting live from the scene.”
“Thanks, Jim. Lines of confused, angry holiday travelers began weaving their way out the doors sometime Tuesday and have only grown longer as the airlines have provided passengers with plenty of questions, but few answers. We spoke with one woman who feared she wouldn’t get home to see her elderly parents in St. Paul for the holidays. She said if she wasn’t on a plane within the hour, then quote: ‘Blood will rain on everyone at terminal D4.’ Back to you, Jim.”
“Thanks, Tom. Elsewhere around town, highways and interstates are buried under snow and ice, making driving treacherous. Many roads are so bad that snow plows and salt trucks can’t get through, and even a number of tow trucks have had to be towed themselves after getting stuck in snow banks. For more, we go to Diane Morningsong. Diane…”
“Thanks, Jim. Many of those gridlocked downtown are wondering why the city was so ill prepared to deal with a storm of this magnitude. Some are even holding the mayor personally responsible for allowing such a storm to hit at the height of the Christmas season - a time when millions of people take to the streets to do their holiday shopping and to visit loved ones. A majority vote from city council has already called for the mayor’s immediate resignation. The sense here is that with questions still swirling as to what exactly took place on his neighbor’s farm back when he was the city’s sanitation commissioner, Mayor Reynolds has little hope of seeing the end of his term. Back to you.”
Walking In a Winter Wonderland
Winter Is a Marshmallow World
Baby, It’s Cold Outside
“Thanks Diane. In sports, the storm has even thrown a wrench into the NFL’s regular-season schedule, as Sunday’s game between the Vikings and the Eagles was moved to a day other than Thursday, Saturday, Sunday or Monday for the first time in the history of the league and even in the history of all of sports. Some have questioned what kind of precedent this sets for future games and if anyone was thinking of the children. The move received harsh criticism from the governor, who has gone on record to declare that the entire country is made up of ‘Limp-wristed panty waists who might as well just tuck their sacks behind their legs and start drinking Mai-Tai’s all day.’ He went on to say that ‘This nation is run by a bunch of pussies who won’t stop until we’re all eating egg rolls and fortune cookies at every meal.’ This reporter happens to agree with him.
“Now for a look at our weekend forecast with Dave Blitzburg. How’s it looking out there Dave?”
“Well, there’s not much relief in sight, as another storm front is moving in from the west. By Thursday morning we should see another 2-3 inches of the white stuff on the ground, so be prepared for county-wide school closings and skyrocketing divorce rates.”
Sleigh Ride
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer
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